Life so far...

has been peaceful, has been happy, has been sweet.

Dun really know when we started, or that it juz happen without us realising. We have been meeting almost every nite after 2230hrs cos I only knocked off at that time. He said it doesn't matter how long we spend with each other, is the quality time that counts. Apart from eating and eating, we tried going to parks, to sit down and juz talk. Talk abt anything in the world, our daily lives, our work lives, our future.

I dunno if I could use the word "our future"
Maybe I am still unsure, maybe there is still fear inside of me.
To him, is "our future" he has nvr been so happy or that cos he nvr felt this kind of love and affection before.
To me, I am still fearful, I dunno wat will others say, I dunno wat will pple in church says, I am afterall, a sorta "leader" in church and here I am with a free-thinker (he not a non-believer). He even had it planned out, we'll do a church wedding, to invite every other relatives and friends while we will keep the dinner to closer friends and relatives. He asked whehter do I need him to convert, Christianity is not a religion, it is a relationship with God, I dunno how to explaine to him but I juz told him is his choice. He thinks so far.

To him, this is his first relationship, his first love. He has not seen the "world" and he tot I am the only one. He tot I may be the only one doting on him. He may be right he may not be right, yet he is so sure that I am the one? Does he want to take that risk?

And juz last nite, he asked me whether am I willing to put down our names for the upcoming BTO...I was speechless (we are barely one month together). I dunno how to answer, a part of me want to say yes but a part of me is still fearful. I was blushing. He knows I am waiting for the ring, for the confirmation, he assured me the ring will come but somehow i still felt fear inside me. I dun even know if I want to intro him to my grandparents during CNY day 1(as it is also V-day, he is picking me up from my uncle's place.) But I told him to meet my mum first, and he say that is a priority. His parents dote on me a lot. And yes they are happy for him, happy for this relationship.
I saw how my colleagues need to push back their wedding due to not able to get a flat, and he's worried too. that's why he asked whether do we want to go for the upcoming BTO (because is 3 -5yrs wait, which is in line with wat "we" or he had plan). I need time to consider. I dunno wat do I want also.

I really dunno. And recently I have this forebearing that I might want to step down from leadership, is not totally because of him, is juz that I have lost the passion for ushering, plus my work timing is so off. I made a prayer, if God allows my transfer to an office hours, week days job to be successful, I would stay on, if not, I would go. There is so much things I wan do for my pple, yet I can't do due to time constraint, I felt so guilty.