Bored in office... ok lah not so lah... but is juz that I've done whatever I need to do... so I'm kinda free.
Block visit tonight...hopefully it can end earlier.
My fiance going to JB later... which I can't follow cos of the block visit. =(
Miss him... even though we see each other quite often... but still will miss him.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
B-T-O
sighz sometimes I do not noe wat hd-b is doing...
they are offering a certain number of units ... yet is always out of proportion to the number of pple applying. The ratio is abt 1 : 10? @#$$%&
We juz tried for our second time... at se-mbawa-ng ri-ver lo-dge... dunno if our first try at Pun-ggol Cre-st would be successful.
Next month is Pun-ggol... 1200 units...dunno will there be higher chances.
frankly... I am not sure if those pple vy-ing for the flats are actually new couples or some families trying to upgrade to the newer areas? to jump in the bandwagon...
the gv-ment have been saying birth rates and marriages have been declining...so are those 2000+ pple applying for the bt-o new couples getting married? frankly hd-b houses over here is so ex... no thanks to those P-rs that are pushing the prices up. young couples might not be able to afford the high c-ov for resa-le...yet they are not able to get the new bt-o cos some other already got flats-to-stay-in pple are fighting for that pathetic number of bt-o that are being offered.
I really wish the gv-ment can do something abt this... if not couple like us would not be able to settle down. We juz want our own place for some privacy and to start our own family... is a bit inconvenient to stay with parents...(we need privacy for some things and actions...get the idea?) we dun mind living NEAR our parents though but not with them since it will be kinda cramp in the house. imagine fighting for the toilet? esp when there's an emergency... "leakages" etc?
Sighz... with such urgent issues answers not found... how are we going to settle down? Is there a way that these sort of issues can be solved? I guess it will always be a rising issues unless gv-ment comes up with a foolproof plan that please everybody...
for now, we can only wait...
they are offering a certain number of units ... yet is always out of proportion to the number of pple applying. The ratio is abt 1 : 10? @#$$%&
We juz tried for our second time... at se-mbawa-ng ri-ver lo-dge... dunno if our first try at Pun-ggol Cre-st would be successful.
Next month is Pun-ggol... 1200 units...dunno will there be higher chances.
frankly... I am not sure if those pple vy-ing for the flats are actually new couples or some families trying to upgrade to the newer areas? to jump in the bandwagon...
the gv-ment have been saying birth rates and marriages have been declining...so are those 2000+ pple applying for the bt-o new couples getting married? frankly hd-b houses over here is so ex... no thanks to those P-rs that are pushing the prices up. young couples might not be able to afford the high c-ov for resa-le...yet they are not able to get the new bt-o cos some other already got flats-to-stay-in pple are fighting for that pathetic number of bt-o that are being offered.
I really wish the gv-ment can do something abt this... if not couple like us would not be able to settle down. We juz want our own place for some privacy and to start our own family... is a bit inconvenient to stay with parents...(we need privacy for some things and actions...get the idea?) we dun mind living NEAR our parents though but not with them since it will be kinda cramp in the house. imagine fighting for the toilet? esp when there's an emergency... "leakages" etc?
Sighz... with such urgent issues answers not found... how are we going to settle down? Is there a way that these sort of issues can be solved? I guess it will always be a rising issues unless gv-ment comes up with a foolproof plan that please everybody...
for now, we can only wait...
Monday, March 15, 2010
HDB Housing
Seems like many of my couple friends are already applying for houses and some even have gotten their unit.
Wonder when will it be our turn? I really can't wait to get our flat and we can start planning wat we want for the house. Wat we need to buy (esp those bigger items)
I came up with the rough number of guests...haha okok I can't wait to get married and is really A LOT of pple (haven add his side yet but he said he wun have as many friends as me) He got a huge family extended family though.
I am still thinking whether do I wan to do a church wedding... I do wish I can but well... I dunno also.
Prob during our ROM will be the lunch receptiong for that LARGE number of guests and we keep the dinner to our closer relatives and friends (I streamline but still got abt 13 tables from my side) haven include his yet...prob small grp of 25 tables would be comfortable.
but now we'll be helping his sis to prepare for her wedding in May. I'm part of the host family...
Wonder when will it be our turn? I really can't wait to get our flat and we can start planning wat we want for the house. Wat we need to buy (esp those bigger items)
I came up with the rough number of guests...haha okok I can't wait to get married and is really A LOT of pple (haven add his side yet but he said he wun have as many friends as me) He got a huge family extended family though.
I am still thinking whether do I wan to do a church wedding... I do wish I can but well... I dunno also.
Prob during our ROM will be the lunch receptiong for that LARGE number of guests and we keep the dinner to our closer relatives and friends (I streamline but still got abt 13 tables from my side) haven include his yet...prob small grp of 25 tables would be comfortable.
but now we'll be helping his sis to prepare for her wedding in May. I'm part of the host family...
Unhappy and not eating
I have been so unhappy...so stress...so depressed.
Have not been eating...
Gastric coming back...
Fiance's car broke down after he send me home. I felt so bad. If he did not come pick me his car could have last a bit longer...
he's a bit tight now. Wish I could help him somehow...but I dunno how.
Wat a useless partner I am.
save save save...I need to start saving...
Have not been eating...
Gastric coming back...
Fiance's car broke down after he send me home. I felt so bad. If he did not come pick me his car could have last a bit longer...
he's a bit tight now. Wish I could help him somehow...but I dunno how.
Wat a useless partner I am.
save save save...I need to start saving...
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Updates
Haven update much and I did not mention much on my birthday celebration which I hope not to...dun wan dig up those sad memories.
Wat I want mention was wat happen during the past two days.
Friday was a very bad day (i also dun wish to think back wat happen as it is really really bad) wish Dezrie could have come drive me home but no he said he petrol is low and want go in JB next day with me to pump patrol and eat thus I went home myself. I was quite upset with his but I also understand that he need to save petrol.
Then Sat, I was suppose to go in JB with him after bringing my rabbit home from the grooming class but he tell me there is long jam and want go in early ... I was like #$%^&* ok fine... so being the nice fiancee I am, I told him to bring his parents in first dun wan tired them out bla bla bla... and he can say OK...I was more @#$%^&^*& but wat to do I ask him to do it so can't take back my words, even though I meant the opposite. Guys are so block head!!! Then he said he will meet me at nite I told him no need as I was angry... and he actually said ok.... haiz. So I can't take it anymore I msg him that he's being insensitive. And then he finally called back and tell me he understood my meaning. I cut short the conversation cos I was rushing to bring my rabbit for grooming class.
Brought baby to YCKCC for rabbit grooming class. Din bother much abt the handphone until towards the end, saw his msg said he going JB later as it was very long queue at the causeway so I can come along (he knows I so much wanted to go in eat seafood) Then I din say much except it was raining heavily and where was he. He mentioned out running errands. I din reply.
But lo and behold...when I stepped out of the lift at YCKCC, he was there waiting for me...his "running errands" is actually coming to pick me and my mum. Awwww... that's so sweet of him... he's making up for the mistake in the afternoon. My mum tot we still going JB she said he can dropped her and the rabbit off then we go straight to JB and I told her, I din bring my passport. I really did not think that I'm still going JB. He drove us home and mum gave a container of sweet soup to his family. On the way to his place to pick up his parents for the JB trip, we both realise that something was wrong with the car. It doesn't sound right; Sign #1 Reach his place, we realise his parents has eaten; sign #2.... and we check the causeway status... it was long queue both in and out of JB; sign #3....and it started raining heavily; sign #4 Sighz all these signs it like stopping us from going JB. So I stayed at his place... reading newspaper...thinking of wat to eat for dinner...and I actually KOed in his sister's room. He realised I wasn't feeling too good...and instead of going out to eat, he specially went NTUC to bought porridge stuff while I was sleeping and asked his mum to cook porridge for me. Aint't he sweet and caring or wat... though I had to go home myself cos we dun wan risk the car breaking down.
All these signs are in place to stop us from going into JB. My not feeling well and such and mum said lucky he came to pick us and had desserts at the nearby market. If not if he had brought his parents into JB (same time as he came pick us) wat if the car breaks down amidst the jam at the causeway and worst they got caught in the heavy rain? His parents are frail so cant' take too much hardship... is good that he is sweet and caring... haha. We sorts save him from the any unnecassary trouble.
Awww...how can he not be loved?
Wat I want mention was wat happen during the past two days.
Friday was a very bad day (i also dun wish to think back wat happen as it is really really bad) wish Dezrie could have come drive me home but no he said he petrol is low and want go in JB next day with me to pump patrol and eat thus I went home myself. I was quite upset with his but I also understand that he need to save petrol.
Then Sat, I was suppose to go in JB with him after bringing my rabbit home from the grooming class but he tell me there is long jam and want go in early ... I was like #$%^&* ok fine... so being the nice fiancee I am, I told him to bring his parents in first dun wan tired them out bla bla bla... and he can say OK...I was more @#$%^&^*& but wat to do I ask him to do it so can't take back my words, even though I meant the opposite. Guys are so block head!!! Then he said he will meet me at nite I told him no need as I was angry... and he actually said ok.... haiz. So I can't take it anymore I msg him that he's being insensitive. And then he finally called back and tell me he understood my meaning. I cut short the conversation cos I was rushing to bring my rabbit for grooming class.
Brought baby to YCKCC for rabbit grooming class. Din bother much abt the handphone until towards the end, saw his msg said he going JB later as it was very long queue at the causeway so I can come along (he knows I so much wanted to go in eat seafood) Then I din say much except it was raining heavily and where was he. He mentioned out running errands. I din reply.
But lo and behold...when I stepped out of the lift at YCKCC, he was there waiting for me...his "running errands" is actually coming to pick me and my mum. Awwww... that's so sweet of him... he's making up for the mistake in the afternoon. My mum tot we still going JB she said he can dropped her and the rabbit off then we go straight to JB and I told her, I din bring my passport. I really did not think that I'm still going JB. He drove us home and mum gave a container of sweet soup to his family. On the way to his place to pick up his parents for the JB trip, we both realise that something was wrong with the car. It doesn't sound right; Sign #1 Reach his place, we realise his parents has eaten; sign #2.... and we check the causeway status... it was long queue both in and out of JB; sign #3....and it started raining heavily; sign #4 Sighz all these signs it like stopping us from going JB. So I stayed at his place... reading newspaper...thinking of wat to eat for dinner...and I actually KOed in his sister's room. He realised I wasn't feeling too good...and instead of going out to eat, he specially went NTUC to bought porridge stuff while I was sleeping and asked his mum to cook porridge for me. Aint't he sweet and caring or wat... though I had to go home myself cos we dun wan risk the car breaking down.
All these signs are in place to stop us from going into JB. My not feeling well and such and mum said lucky he came to pick us and had desserts at the nearby market. If not if he had brought his parents into JB (same time as he came pick us) wat if the car breaks down amidst the jam at the causeway and worst they got caught in the heavy rain? His parents are frail so cant' take too much hardship... is good that he is sweet and caring... haha. We sorts save him from the any unnecassary trouble.
Awww...how can he not be loved?
Friday, February 26, 2010
exciting times
My fiance is getting naughtier, and i like it.
I love to be hug and kiss by my guy, my fiance.
He juz learn the art of kissing ( yes that is how innocent he is! ) and he's addicted to it. he can only think of our stolen kisses and nothing else. hehe
And our quality time spent together will really be "quality".
His recent quote "I love quality time"
of cos I set the rules and boundaries on how naughty he can go and I know he will respect that too.
But is true you need some spice and naughtiness in a relationship.
I love to be hug and kiss by my guy, my fiance.
He juz learn the art of kissing ( yes that is how innocent he is! ) and he's addicted to it. he can only think of our stolen kisses and nothing else. hehe
And our quality time spent together will really be "quality".
His recent quote "I love quality time"
of cos I set the rules and boundaries on how naughty he can go and I know he will respect that too.
But is true you need some spice and naughtiness in a relationship.
Monday, February 22, 2010
butterflies in my stomach
today is my turn to have dinner with my in-laws. I'm kinda excited yet scare. dunno how will I fare. i hope i can do well.
ahhh...integrating into the Soh family...
ahhh...integrating into the Soh family...
Thursday, February 18, 2010
phone or network?
recently, our phones are having problem. I can't receive the sms he send neither can he receive my sms.
It led to some misunderstanding cos I tot he din want sms me and he tot I did not want to reply him but when we talk it out is actually our phone or network.
As for now, we dun sms anymore but call each other instead.
I'm so glad to have an understanding fiance, and I realise I've change and become more mature. No more jumping at the slightest thing but we will talk things out. And I'm glad he accepted me he way I am ( he had seen me how I behave in front of my relatives and he's ok )and even use the term "lunch with his in-law" how sweet.
He said now we need to integrate more into each other's family, meaning to have meals together more often while we still go round to check out furniture and electronics.
I know he's busy thus I can only wait for him to call me.
Is easier for him to call me then me to call him.
I miss my fiance.
It led to some misunderstanding cos I tot he din want sms me and he tot I did not want to reply him but when we talk it out is actually our phone or network.
As for now, we dun sms anymore but call each other instead.
I'm so glad to have an understanding fiance, and I realise I've change and become more mature. No more jumping at the slightest thing but we will talk things out. And I'm glad he accepted me he way I am ( he had seen me how I behave in front of my relatives and he's ok )and even use the term "lunch with his in-law" how sweet.
He said now we need to integrate more into each other's family, meaning to have meals together more often while we still go round to check out furniture and electronics.
I know he's busy thus I can only wait for him to call me.
Is easier for him to call me then me to call him.
I miss my fiance.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
CNY & V-Day
so many things happen...
let me recap one day by one day.
CNY Day 1
coincidentally is also V-day.
I started the day by heading to Kallang to my grandma's house. There we had yu-sheng and peng cai...for breakfast, juz a small gathering. Usually after Kallang we would head down to Teban Gardens but this year as I had a relative pass away juz two weeks before, they din wan us to go visiting...so might as well we went home to sleep.
Nite was dinner at Ubi. This is quite a special moment cos it will be closer to the time that he's coming to fetch me (cos is also v-day) as well as meet my grandparents. He bought gifts for them. Anyway my grandparents and aunt and uncles as well as cousins were so excited to meet him. We left a while later to celebrate v-day.
We headed to East Coast. Knowing that East Coast Mac would be crowded (even though I love MaCafe Hot chocolate) we headed towards big splash (the playgroud). Since only Starbucks was open, we settle there, the first floor was crowded and he wanted a quiter place (initially I din know why) so we went to the roof top. He got us drinks then set down and chatted. After quite some time later, he present me with his v-day gift; a bouquet of handmade roses (is pink and is handmade by him personally) I was so touched. And I tot that was it. No ... it wasn't...after some time he took out something else... something small... something square... and is a ....ring box!!!
Yes... he proposed to me. I was really shocked. I din know he would do it so early... juz a simple solitire ring. I teared and couldn't say much. And I said yes... as of 14 Feb 2010, I am engaged to Mr Dezmund Soh Chee Liang and we're planning for our future together.
He did not kneel down or said the words directly but he said let this day be our anniversary, the start of our new journey together.
I know is kinda fast but my mum already expected it. We have already booked our flat hoping we will be able to get it. And we're starting to look around for furniture and electronics.
CNY Day 2 while my fiance had his own visitation to do, I also got a lunch appointment with my mum's third sister family (2 tables) and is at Jumbo Seafood restaurant at Clarke Quay. I ate a lot then in the midst, my mum's god brother called and invited us for dinner, thus my sis and I had to rush over to my aunt place at Sim's Drive and head down to Farrer Park to my mum's god brother place for another dinner at Pu Tian Restaurant. So day 2 is really eat and eat and eat and I've put on 5kg... so that practically concludes my day 2. Could not meet my fiance but we know we got to give each other space.
CNY Day 3 nothing much to do, met up with my fiance and we juz hang around Marina Square and went to River Ang Bao. It was mid noon thus the sun was so hot and I got heatstroke. We went for movie and went back to his place cos at nite RC got gathering also. When we reach his house, I was surprise as his relatives are still there. So in the end I had to meet them, kinda paiseh, yup but went through with it. I got a sudden bad headace due to heat stroke but I was ok after I drank some beer at the gathering to cool myself and he was so worried for me. I couldn't eat much. He drove me home straight away and I slept early.
CNY Day 4 is also mum's birthday. He came to pick us up and we went to the temple. Mum wan to pray for the family due to offending the "tai sui" and she asked me and him to pray together. I let my fiance do all the praying while I juz follow him. After that we had lunch at TPY Yum Cha. The WHOLE family is there. My mum, dad, grandma, grandpa, sis and her bf. And my fiance was saying he's having lunch with his "in-laws" that's so sweet of him. Dad sent grandpa home while mum and grandma and sis and bf went to catch a movie then go River hong bao. He and I went over to HDB to check out the 4-room layout. Get some ideas for our future home. We then go all the way to JB to pump petrol then go down to IMM to see more ideas for furnitures. Really planning ahead. He let me drive back from Jurong back to office. I was quite scare as it was peak hours and there were so many cars on the express way. He commented that I lost a bit of control of the car after I drove my uncle's Avante. haha. Guess I am not so used to driving yet.
I really can't wait for the day when we'll be able to move into our new house and start our own family.
So nice to have a term now, "fiance and fiancee"
let me recap one day by one day.
CNY Day 1
coincidentally is also V-day.
I started the day by heading to Kallang to my grandma's house. There we had yu-sheng and peng cai...for breakfast, juz a small gathering. Usually after Kallang we would head down to Teban Gardens but this year as I had a relative pass away juz two weeks before, they din wan us to go visiting...so might as well we went home to sleep.
Nite was dinner at Ubi. This is quite a special moment cos it will be closer to the time that he's coming to fetch me (cos is also v-day) as well as meet my grandparents. He bought gifts for them. Anyway my grandparents and aunt and uncles as well as cousins were so excited to meet him. We left a while later to celebrate v-day.
We headed to East Coast. Knowing that East Coast Mac would be crowded (even though I love MaCafe Hot chocolate) we headed towards big splash (the playgroud). Since only Starbucks was open, we settle there, the first floor was crowded and he wanted a quiter place (initially I din know why) so we went to the roof top. He got us drinks then set down and chatted. After quite some time later, he present me with his v-day gift; a bouquet of handmade roses (is pink and is handmade by him personally) I was so touched. And I tot that was it. No ... it wasn't...after some time he took out something else... something small... something square... and is a ....ring box!!!
Yes... he proposed to me. I was really shocked. I din know he would do it so early... juz a simple solitire ring. I teared and couldn't say much. And I said yes... as of 14 Feb 2010, I am engaged to Mr Dezmund Soh Chee Liang and we're planning for our future together.
He did not kneel down or said the words directly but he said let this day be our anniversary, the start of our new journey together.
I know is kinda fast but my mum already expected it. We have already booked our flat hoping we will be able to get it. And we're starting to look around for furniture and electronics.
CNY Day 2 while my fiance had his own visitation to do, I also got a lunch appointment with my mum's third sister family (2 tables) and is at Jumbo Seafood restaurant at Clarke Quay. I ate a lot then in the midst, my mum's god brother called and invited us for dinner, thus my sis and I had to rush over to my aunt place at Sim's Drive and head down to Farrer Park to my mum's god brother place for another dinner at Pu Tian Restaurant. So day 2 is really eat and eat and eat and I've put on 5kg... so that practically concludes my day 2. Could not meet my fiance but we know we got to give each other space.
CNY Day 3 nothing much to do, met up with my fiance and we juz hang around Marina Square and went to River Ang Bao. It was mid noon thus the sun was so hot and I got heatstroke. We went for movie and went back to his place cos at nite RC got gathering also. When we reach his house, I was surprise as his relatives are still there. So in the end I had to meet them, kinda paiseh, yup but went through with it. I got a sudden bad headace due to heat stroke but I was ok after I drank some beer at the gathering to cool myself and he was so worried for me. I couldn't eat much. He drove me home straight away and I slept early.
CNY Day 4 is also mum's birthday. He came to pick us up and we went to the temple. Mum wan to pray for the family due to offending the "tai sui" and she asked me and him to pray together. I let my fiance do all the praying while I juz follow him. After that we had lunch at TPY Yum Cha. The WHOLE family is there. My mum, dad, grandma, grandpa, sis and her bf. And my fiance was saying he's having lunch with his "in-laws" that's so sweet of him. Dad sent grandpa home while mum and grandma and sis and bf went to catch a movie then go River hong bao. He and I went over to HDB to check out the 4-room layout. Get some ideas for our future home. We then go all the way to JB to pump petrol then go down to IMM to see more ideas for furnitures. Really planning ahead. He let me drive back from Jurong back to office. I was quite scare as it was peak hours and there were so many cars on the express way. He commented that I lost a bit of control of the car after I drove my uncle's Avante. haha. Guess I am not so used to driving yet.
I really can't wait for the day when we'll be able to move into our new house and start our own family.
So nice to have a term now, "fiance and fiancee"
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Transitions
yesterday I attended CNY svc. tot I dun wan squeeze with the crowd thus ask boss can get time off... and she agreed. kinda surprise but is ok...I still manage to attend 5pm svc.
After svc, helped cg to get seats (though I'm not suppose to) but well once while ok lah. I manage to get them charlie floor seats...hehe. not bad eh.
BUT...sighz whether am i on duty or not, ushers will still report to me. like yesterday i am not on duty but still ushers came and ask me wat to do. then i see the ic can't manage and seems lost, i stepped in and gave instructions.
TH is rite, our ushers can't handle transitions. is so messy and things are not done. something muz be done to properly train them up haiz.
frankly i think i might quit ministry, i dun see a purpose ushering anymore...
After svc, helped cg to get seats (though I'm not suppose to) but well once while ok lah. I manage to get them charlie floor seats...hehe. not bad eh.
BUT...sighz whether am i on duty or not, ushers will still report to me. like yesterday i am not on duty but still ushers came and ask me wat to do. then i see the ic can't manage and seems lost, i stepped in and gave instructions.
TH is rite, our ushers can't handle transitions. is so messy and things are not done. something muz be done to properly train them up haiz.
frankly i think i might quit ministry, i dun see a purpose ushering anymore...
Friday, February 12, 2010
We....did it!
Yes, we did it. We put down our names for our flat at...Punggol Crest!!!
As of 11 feb 2010, we took our first step to our future.
I am still not sure wat the future will hold for us...but still I'm willing to try.
It was so exciting.
Even though we are barely one month together...or actually from our "official" date... he wanted us to plan for a future.
We might or might not get it but is still worth a try.
As of 11 feb 2010, we took our first step to our future.
I am still not sure wat the future will hold for us...but still I'm willing to try.
It was so exciting.
Even though we are barely one month together...or actually from our "official" date... he wanted us to plan for a future.
We might or might not get it but is still worth a try.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Peanut Dumpling soup is so sweet
it is indeed very sweet. Sweet in the mouth, Sweet in the heart.
He knows I like the Peanut Dumpling soup at Beach Road Market and he specially bought it and bring down to office for me.
Awwww...how sweet can it get =)
Bear is a happy and sweet sweet bear.
He knows I like the Peanut Dumpling soup at Beach Road Market and he specially bought it and bring down to office for me.
Awwww...how sweet can it get =)
Bear is a happy and sweet sweet bear.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
thank You for the surprise *hugz*
he's so sweet.
juz reach singapore form JB, he called me.
Chatted a while and I ask him go home rest. He said ok.
BUT...
he actually dropped by office juz to see me (yes and he left his dad in the car to wait for him). oh my goodness...I was so shocked.
I din expect him to come by thinking that he's really tired.
Still he came juz to see me and we talk awhile before I shoo him home (can't let his dad wait too long also)
awww...is so sweet of him
he's really so into me
juz reach singapore form JB, he called me.
Chatted a while and I ask him go home rest. He said ok.
BUT...
he actually dropped by office juz to see me (yes and he left his dad in the car to wait for him). oh my goodness...I was so shocked.
I din expect him to come by thinking that he's really tired.
Still he came juz to see me and we talk awhile before I shoo him home (can't let his dad wait too long also)
awww...is so sweet of him
he's really so into me
Life so far...
has been peaceful, has been happy, has been sweet.
Dun really know when we started, or that it juz happen without us realising. We have been meeting almost every nite after 2230hrs cos I only knocked off at that time. He said it doesn't matter how long we spend with each other, is the quality time that counts. Apart from eating and eating, we tried going to parks, to sit down and juz talk. Talk abt anything in the world, our daily lives, our work lives, our future.
I dunno if I could use the word "our future"
Maybe I am still unsure, maybe there is still fear inside of me.
To him, is "our future" he has nvr been so happy or that cos he nvr felt this kind of love and affection before.
To me, I am still fearful, I dunno wat will others say, I dunno wat will pple in church says, I am afterall, a sorta "leader" in church and here I am with a free-thinker (he not a non-believer). He even had it planned out, we'll do a church wedding, to invite every other relatives and friends while we will keep the dinner to closer friends and relatives. He asked whehter do I need him to convert, Christianity is not a religion, it is a relationship with God, I dunno how to explaine to him but I juz told him is his choice. He thinks so far.
To him, this is his first relationship, his first love. He has not seen the "world" and he tot I am the only one. He tot I may be the only one doting on him. He may be right he may not be right, yet he is so sure that I am the one? Does he want to take that risk?
And juz last nite, he asked me whether am I willing to put down our names for the upcoming BTO...I was speechless (we are barely one month together). I dunno how to answer, a part of me want to say yes but a part of me is still fearful. I was blushing. He knows I am waiting for the ring, for the confirmation, he assured me the ring will come but somehow i still felt fear inside me. I dun even know if I want to intro him to my grandparents during CNY day 1(as it is also V-day, he is picking me up from my uncle's place.) But I told him to meet my mum first, and he say that is a priority. His parents dote on me a lot. And yes they are happy for him, happy for this relationship.
I saw how my colleagues need to push back their wedding due to not able to get a flat, and he's worried too. that's why he asked whether do we want to go for the upcoming BTO (because is 3 -5yrs wait, which is in line with wat "we" or he had plan). I need time to consider. I dunno wat do I want also.
I really dunno. And recently I have this forebearing that I might want to step down from leadership, is not totally because of him, is juz that I have lost the passion for ushering, plus my work timing is so off. I made a prayer, if God allows my transfer to an office hours, week days job to be successful, I would stay on, if not, I would go. There is so much things I wan do for my pple, yet I can't do due to time constraint, I felt so guilty.
Dun really know when we started, or that it juz happen without us realising. We have been meeting almost every nite after 2230hrs cos I only knocked off at that time. He said it doesn't matter how long we spend with each other, is the quality time that counts. Apart from eating and eating, we tried going to parks, to sit down and juz talk. Talk abt anything in the world, our daily lives, our work lives, our future.
I dunno if I could use the word "our future"
Maybe I am still unsure, maybe there is still fear inside of me.
To him, is "our future" he has nvr been so happy or that cos he nvr felt this kind of love and affection before.
To me, I am still fearful, I dunno wat will others say, I dunno wat will pple in church says, I am afterall, a sorta "leader" in church and here I am with a free-thinker (he not a non-believer). He even had it planned out, we'll do a church wedding, to invite every other relatives and friends while we will keep the dinner to closer friends and relatives. He asked whehter do I need him to convert, Christianity is not a religion, it is a relationship with God, I dunno how to explaine to him but I juz told him is his choice. He thinks so far.
To him, this is his first relationship, his first love. He has not seen the "world" and he tot I am the only one. He tot I may be the only one doting on him. He may be right he may not be right, yet he is so sure that I am the one? Does he want to take that risk?
And juz last nite, he asked me whether am I willing to put down our names for the upcoming BTO...I was speechless (we are barely one month together). I dunno how to answer, a part of me want to say yes but a part of me is still fearful. I was blushing. He knows I am waiting for the ring, for the confirmation, he assured me the ring will come but somehow i still felt fear inside me. I dun even know if I want to intro him to my grandparents during CNY day 1(as it is also V-day, he is picking me up from my uncle's place.) But I told him to meet my mum first, and he say that is a priority. His parents dote on me a lot. And yes they are happy for him, happy for this relationship.
I saw how my colleagues need to push back their wedding due to not able to get a flat, and he's worried too. that's why he asked whether do we want to go for the upcoming BTO (because is 3 -5yrs wait, which is in line with wat "we" or he had plan). I need time to consider. I dunno wat do I want also.
I really dunno. And recently I have this forebearing that I might want to step down from leadership, is not totally because of him, is juz that I have lost the passion for ushering, plus my work timing is so off. I made a prayer, if God allows my transfer to an office hours, week days job to be successful, I would stay on, if not, I would go. There is so much things I wan do for my pple, yet I can't do due to time constraint, I felt so guilty.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Long day
Yesterday was a long day
Morning, attended a funeral of a relative. Boohoohoo no CNY for me this year. It was so close. Less than two months ago, was his wife who passed away now is the husband. Too heavy burden for the family as well as us.
Evening, went for ALTC. I dunno leh, maybe I really dun have the passion for ushering anymore. They dun even remember or realise that I am there. Juz kinda ignore me. Should I stop attending the course?
Nite, went down to Parkway and surprise Dezrie. He was so shocked and he got speechless. haha. But I know he really appreciate that small gesture a lot.
Morning, attended a funeral of a relative. Boohoohoo no CNY for me this year. It was so close. Less than two months ago, was his wife who passed away now is the husband. Too heavy burden for the family as well as us.
Evening, went for ALTC. I dunno leh, maybe I really dun have the passion for ushering anymore. They dun even remember or realise that I am there. Juz kinda ignore me. Should I stop attending the course?
Nite, went down to Parkway and surprise Dezrie. He was so shocked and he got speechless. haha. But I know he really appreciate that small gesture a lot.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
I'm so in love with...
Francisca...my 8 years old niece who is so cutesy.
She's my cousin (2yrs older) daughter. Imagine...my cousin is like 29 this year and she has a 8 years old daughter and a 1.5 years old daughter...so wat am I doing here?
Francisca is so cute. Love her boldness Love her sweet look and she's so attached to me. Yupz, she enjoy being carried by me. See me only will stretch out her arms for me to carry her up (she's heavy k?)
Can't help want to carry her home. I like kids and I want to have kids, BUT that got to wait. Not so soon...but I hope is soon. Dezrie, you got the hint? =)
Dezrie is mature and he is so ever ready to settle down. And both of us can think along the same line. Hopefully in the near future, I will be beginning to look for HDB, and Rings, and Banquet venue, and ROM dates and bridal dress...well you got the idea.
She's my cousin (2yrs older) daughter. Imagine...my cousin is like 29 this year and she has a 8 years old daughter and a 1.5 years old daughter...so wat am I doing here?
Francisca is so cute. Love her boldness Love her sweet look and she's so attached to me. Yupz, she enjoy being carried by me. See me only will stretch out her arms for me to carry her up (she's heavy k?)
Can't help want to carry her home. I like kids and I want to have kids, BUT that got to wait. Not so soon...but I hope is soon. Dezrie, you got the hint? =)
Dezrie is mature and he is so ever ready to settle down. And both of us can think along the same line. Hopefully in the near future, I will be beginning to look for HDB, and Rings, and Banquet venue, and ROM dates and bridal dress...well you got the idea.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
he's so into me...
he has start to think so far in the future.
And he even specially took time off his work and met me juz for lunch. How sweet it that. And he couldn't let go of my hands. He keep telling me my hands felt so comfy in his and they fitted like a glove (his hands and mine are same size)
he's planning to get a 7 seater car...he told me he used only think abt a small car cos he's single but now he's found me, he want a 7 seater for the whole family, his parents, his sister and her husband and of cos with me. With a 7 seater, it is also because of our own family, with kids...
Housing...he said let's get HDB flat first, claim whatever we can from HDB then we get a private property. And he wants to stay with his parents!!! #$?!%$
I've learnt my lesson, so I juz kept quiet. I din really wan to stay with parents cos I prefer our own space but I dun mind staying near them. Wait and see. I dun wan to suggest and comment too much until it is happening.
Someone told me dun put your hopes too high up yet which I think is pretty true. I'm not giving my 100% to him yet... not if things dun work out the way we want, I would have got hurt even deeper. But I know he's so into me, I juz can take a step at a time.
I miss him.
And he even specially took time off his work and met me juz for lunch. How sweet it that. And he couldn't let go of my hands. He keep telling me my hands felt so comfy in his and they fitted like a glove (his hands and mine are same size)
he's planning to get a 7 seater car...he told me he used only think abt a small car cos he's single but now he's found me, he want a 7 seater for the whole family, his parents, his sister and her husband and of cos with me. With a 7 seater, it is also because of our own family, with kids...
Housing...he said let's get HDB flat first, claim whatever we can from HDB then we get a private property. And he wants to stay with his parents!!! #$?!%$
I've learnt my lesson, so I juz kept quiet. I din really wan to stay with parents cos I prefer our own space but I dun mind staying near them. Wait and see. I dun wan to suggest and comment too much until it is happening.
Someone told me dun put your hopes too high up yet which I think is pretty true. I'm not giving my 100% to him yet... not if things dun work out the way we want, I would have got hurt even deeper. But I know he's so into me, I juz can take a step at a time.
I miss him.
Could it be a sign?
My grandfather's brother juz passed away last nite and on Sunday the whole family will have to attend the 出兵 which we will not be able to go for the RC local shopping tour.
And he is getting so prepared to be "interviewed" and to meet my family. I can sense the disappointment in him but this kind of thing, is really unforeseen.
Two months ago, this grandfather's brother's wife passed away and now he passed away. Well they are after all, well in their advance age and staying in a home, so maybe is a good way to let go.
As for him, I dunno whether is it God's way of telling me... ...to reconsider, or to put us through a trial. I am not sure of it myself also. He is so thankful to me for sticking by him thru his difficult times, so I dunno is it that he really love me or I am juz a kind of emotion and mental support for him. Does he know wat is love? or he juz want a companion? But he can be sweet, tells me want me to go thru the good times with him, not only the bad times.
He offer the use of his place whenever I got meeting over at that side of Hougang. He asked me to pop by for dinner, rest, wait for him to reach home and go for the mtg. And he said his mum will treat her daughter-in-law better than her own son. haha. He has a warm family and that is also wat I yeaned for.
I really dunno wat am I thinking, should I juz go when he's doing better? Or would I want be with him for the rest of my life? I know he will be able to take good care of me, take good care of our families...
And he is getting so prepared to be "interviewed" and to meet my family. I can sense the disappointment in him but this kind of thing, is really unforeseen.
Two months ago, this grandfather's brother's wife passed away and now he passed away. Well they are after all, well in their advance age and staying in a home, so maybe is a good way to let go.
As for him, I dunno whether is it God's way of telling me... ...to reconsider, or to put us through a trial. I am not sure of it myself also. He is so thankful to me for sticking by him thru his difficult times, so I dunno is it that he really love me or I am juz a kind of emotion and mental support for him. Does he know wat is love? or he juz want a companion? But he can be sweet, tells me want me to go thru the good times with him, not only the bad times.
He offer the use of his place whenever I got meeting over at that side of Hougang. He asked me to pop by for dinner, rest, wait for him to reach home and go for the mtg. And he said his mum will treat her daughter-in-law better than her own son. haha. He has a warm family and that is also wat I yeaned for.
I really dunno wat am I thinking, should I juz go when he's doing better? Or would I want be with him for the rest of my life? I know he will be able to take good care of me, take good care of our families...
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Happy Happy
I think I am happy
He's so sweet. on his facebook, he wrote a lot of sweet things.
Ha. But I got to teach him from scratch how to hold hands, how to hug, how to kiss.
Oh well. At least I know this guy is really an innocent one. Evreything also dunno. So I no need worried abt other things also. Juz guide him on the basic things first.
Good,now I can do things my way.
His friends and his relatives are so excited for him. Keep asking when is he going to bring me to meet them, or when are we getting married. (Duh we are barely a month into the r/s)
I miss him.
This Sunday he will be meeting my family. Cos we going to join the local tour organised by the RC. My mum, my sis, my grandmother, my aunt, my young cousin, my second aunt and her husband, my fifth aunt and her friend...yes these are the closer ones to me.
He told me he will do well for the "interview" if he's granted one.
I guess mum will be able to talk to him too since they were from the same line before.
I hope evrything goes well. He's the first (or the only one) of all my other bf to meet my family other than the immiediate ones (mum and sis).
Am I ready to take this big leap?
He's so sweet. on his facebook, he wrote a lot of sweet things.
Ha. But I got to teach him from scratch how to hold hands, how to hug, how to kiss.
Oh well. At least I know this guy is really an innocent one. Evreything also dunno. So I no need worried abt other things also. Juz guide him on the basic things first.
Good,now I can do things my way.
His friends and his relatives are so excited for him. Keep asking when is he going to bring me to meet them, or when are we getting married. (Duh we are barely a month into the r/s)
I miss him.
This Sunday he will be meeting my family. Cos we going to join the local tour organised by the RC. My mum, my sis, my grandmother, my aunt, my young cousin, my second aunt and her husband, my fifth aunt and her friend...yes these are the closer ones to me.
He told me he will do well for the "interview" if he's granted one.
I guess mum will be able to talk to him too since they were from the same line before.
I hope evrything goes well. He's the first (or the only one) of all my other bf to meet my family other than the immiediate ones (mum and sis).
Am I ready to take this big leap?
Monday, January 25, 2010
Am I or am I not
In love with you?
I do miss you a lot, esp when I dun receive your sms or call. I can't help but worry. BUT I dunno whether am I in love with you.
Or that will I be loving you 100%
I am juz so confuse, so scare...
I dunno whether are you loving me 100% too.
I wan meet you everyday, I enjoy being with you. I am so comfortable talking to you. I wan to hear you everyday, I wan to see your sms everyday. Is this love?
Or am I juz seeking someone to be with me always.
You have not officially ask me thru your mouth, juz over msn.
I'm waiting for a day that we could call it our "anniversary".
I know you are still learning. I dunno will I get a ring from you. I dunno if you know how to hold my hands, or hold me close in your arms.
Will you give me a ring?
I could only walk a step at a time.
I do miss you a lot, esp when I dun receive your sms or call. I can't help but worry. BUT I dunno whether am I in love with you.
Or that will I be loving you 100%
I am juz so confuse, so scare...
I dunno whether are you loving me 100% too.
I wan meet you everyday, I enjoy being with you. I am so comfortable talking to you. I wan to hear you everyday, I wan to see your sms everyday. Is this love?
Or am I juz seeking someone to be with me always.
You have not officially ask me thru your mouth, juz over msn.
I'm waiting for a day that we could call it our "anniversary".
I know you are still learning. I dunno will I get a ring from you. I dunno if you know how to hold my hands, or hold me close in your arms.
Will you give me a ring?
I could only walk a step at a time.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
few more hours...
counting down... 2 more hours
to meeting you...
I'm missing you
wonder wat will the reaction be? will it be awarkward? or will it be like our usual?
Having butterflies in my stomach. Will we be holding hands? will we hug? Will I be able to feel safe and secure in his arms?
Yes. he admitted it, after I guided him to ask that question. Such a blockhead.
Yet I am confuse. Half-half feeling. Dunno how to answer to Pst and CGL but yet happy that I am dating. he's shorter than me. Will I be able to accept?
Dun wan think anything else, dun wan talk abt the future. Juz see how things go first. Taking one step at a time.
I so much wan to plan a wedding, my own wedding. so much wan to go see furniture, so much wan go and view flats, so much wan go try wedding gowns, so much wan go food tasting, so much wan go hotel booking, so much wan go take photo shoots with him, so much wan go shop for our rings. Slowly bah.
I dunno how to tell others...we decided not to annouce yet, if they find out, we are not going to hide either. Got to start discussing how are we going to react infront of the other volunteers and infront of my colleagues? Got to know how to seperate work and personal. And the issue of the committee, can I still continue to take that committee or do I have to let it go? He dun wan me to be in a difficult position also. So thoughtful...so sweet
So many things...to consider.
Am I doing the right thing?
to meeting you...
I'm missing you
wonder wat will the reaction be? will it be awarkward? or will it be like our usual?
Having butterflies in my stomach. Will we be holding hands? will we hug? Will I be able to feel safe and secure in his arms?
Yes. he admitted it, after I guided him to ask that question. Such a blockhead.
Yet I am confuse. Half-half feeling. Dunno how to answer to Pst and CGL but yet happy that I am dating. he's shorter than me. Will I be able to accept?
Dun wan think anything else, dun wan talk abt the future. Juz see how things go first. Taking one step at a time.
I so much wan to plan a wedding, my own wedding. so much wan to go see furniture, so much wan go and view flats, so much wan go try wedding gowns, so much wan go food tasting, so much wan go hotel booking, so much wan go take photo shoots with him, so much wan go shop for our rings. Slowly bah.
I dunno how to tell others...we decided not to annouce yet, if they find out, we are not going to hide either. Got to start discussing how are we going to react infront of the other volunteers and infront of my colleagues? Got to know how to seperate work and personal. And the issue of the committee, can I still continue to take that committee or do I have to let it go? He dun wan me to be in a difficult position also. So thoughtful...so sweet
So many things...to consider.
Am I doing the right thing?
Friday, January 22, 2010
I wanted to...
I wanted to msg you those words...
but you have not officially asked me to.
somehow the feeling is overwhelming. Hopefully you can get the hints thru my sms. Dun wan to use those words yet until is "official" but I juz can't help showing my concern for you.
Last nite was hot chocolate and catching up on each other's day. And his words, "We are like seeing each other every other day..." makes my day
Yeap he let me drive the car back, and I can actually park WITHOUT poles now [ but left hand parking only. He said he's gonna teach me right hand parking =) ]
Every morning your sms with the word "dear" makes me smile and makes my day.
I think I am falling in love with you...
but you have not officially asked me to.
somehow the feeling is overwhelming. Hopefully you can get the hints thru my sms. Dun wan to use those words yet until is "official" but I juz can't help showing my concern for you.
Last nite was hot chocolate and catching up on each other's day. And his words, "We are like seeing each other every other day..." makes my day
Yeap he let me drive the car back, and I can actually park WITHOUT poles now [ but left hand parking only. He said he's gonna teach me right hand parking =) ]
Every morning your sms with the word "dear" makes me smile and makes my day.
I think I am falling in love with you...
Thursday, January 21, 2010
I'm kinda missing you now...
I miss you.
Whenever my phone lights up, be it phone call, be it sms, I was hoping that it is from him, telling me that he's thinking of me, or juz a msg with the word "dear" melts my heart and make my day.
Seeing him in 3 hours time.
Hopefully hot chocolate after that...some quality time together (and of cos letting me drive the car back home).
Juz chatting and finding out how each other's day has been.
I'm contented
Yes I think I'm falling in love...
is this meant to be...
Whenever my phone lights up, be it phone call, be it sms, I was hoping that it is from him, telling me that he's thinking of me, or juz a msg with the word "dear" melts my heart and make my day.
Seeing him in 3 hours time.
Hopefully hot chocolate after that...some quality time together (and of cos letting me drive the car back home).
Juz chatting and finding out how each other's day has been.
I'm contented
Yes I think I'm falling in love...
is this meant to be...
BearBear is Happy
Yah I finally get to watch "Avatar" after one long month of delay.
Thanks Dezrie for your patience and trying to fit my timing.
Very nice show. No wonder derzie kept encouraging me to watch. We caught the last show at Vivo last nite, a 3D one, which makes this show more exciting.
Dezrie has been very sweet, by sending me home after work, or even from office to the meeting place. Really appreciates it a lot. Of cos he's also very realistic, he wun also purposely come drive me but along the way, which I think is good enough. At least he did think of me...hee~
Seriously I am still thinking abt this issue, abt "us" whether should I or should I not go for it. As of now, we are not "official" yet, as in he did not ask me to be his girlfriend officially, yet he calls me "dear" as well as use the term "we", nope...no hands-holding, no kissing, no hugging or whatsoever...no gifts also, no flowers. Even as a photographer, he also did not take any profile of me.
Everyday he would sms me, and his sms definatly will have the word "dear" and if one day I din receive, I would feel uneasy also. Once, he came and drove me for a meeting and the sky was very dark, he asked me whether I have umbrella with me I told him no and he insist I take the one in the car. See how thoughtful he is. Even for driving, he did say if he drink, I will drive, if I drink, he will drive, thus we got to arrange beforehand. He trusts me with his car. So I not sure what he treat me as, a very good friend or his gf?
But if I go with him, I might face complications, I might not be able to take his RC anymore or I might even need to transfer out of this division.
I am so confuse what should I do? Cos we are not "official" yet we are a dating couple? I haven really call him "dear" or "darling" yet. But soon I might too...now we are using "I see You" a term from "Avatar" which meant I see through you inside your heart...who knows it might change to "I miss you" or even "I love you"
Should I juz asked him straight...
Thanks Dezrie for your patience and trying to fit my timing.
Very nice show. No wonder derzie kept encouraging me to watch. We caught the last show at Vivo last nite, a 3D one, which makes this show more exciting.
Dezrie has been very sweet, by sending me home after work, or even from office to the meeting place. Really appreciates it a lot. Of cos he's also very realistic, he wun also purposely come drive me but along the way, which I think is good enough. At least he did think of me...hee~
Seriously I am still thinking abt this issue, abt "us" whether should I or should I not go for it. As of now, we are not "official" yet, as in he did not ask me to be his girlfriend officially, yet he calls me "dear" as well as use the term "we", nope...no hands-holding, no kissing, no hugging or whatsoever...no gifts also, no flowers. Even as a photographer, he also did not take any profile of me.
Everyday he would sms me, and his sms definatly will have the word "dear" and if one day I din receive, I would feel uneasy also. Once, he came and drove me for a meeting and the sky was very dark, he asked me whether I have umbrella with me I told him no and he insist I take the one in the car. See how thoughtful he is. Even for driving, he did say if he drink, I will drive, if I drink, he will drive, thus we got to arrange beforehand. He trusts me with his car. So I not sure what he treat me as, a very good friend or his gf?
But if I go with him, I might face complications, I might not be able to take his RC anymore or I might even need to transfer out of this division.
I am so confuse what should I do? Cos we are not "official" yet we are a dating couple? I haven really call him "dear" or "darling" yet. But soon I might too...now we are using "I see You" a term from "Avatar" which meant I see through you inside your heart...who knows it might change to "I miss you" or even "I love you"
Should I juz asked him straight...
Monday, January 18, 2010
NE CDD Staff Retreat
We had our Staff retreat at *gasps*....Jurong Bird Park!!! *tweet tweet tweet*
First time the whole NE came together for a combined retreat. Pretty interesting, wun say make new friends cos we pretty much stick to the same group but at least caught a glimps of who's in NE.
Played game, talks, sharing session, walk the park is pretty much wat we did.
I am so dead tired, yet I still got to go back office and stayed until 10.30pm (I had to reach at 7.45am) while everyone can go home. And like cannot claim off... haiz is like that I guess ....@#$%^&* that wat you get when you are deemed to be "unrespectful" to your supervisior which is NOT entirely my fault.
SO here I am sitting in office and blogging and my mind is not thinking anything. Juz keep staring at the computer until time up I guess.
Highlight of the programme should be the photo session with a "special guest" A Littlest Penguin. So cutesy... I will try to upload the pix later...since my camera is total dead.
How I wish that someone else can come and drive me home...kept hinting to him but he dun get it. Either he pretend not to get the hint or he is a total blockhead. Well... or maybe... he's only treating me as a normal fried? that why I say I dun wan put my hopes too high up yet...
First time the whole NE came together for a combined retreat. Pretty interesting, wun say make new friends cos we pretty much stick to the same group but at least caught a glimps of who's in NE.
Played game, talks, sharing session, walk the park is pretty much wat we did.
I am so dead tired, yet I still got to go back office and stayed until 10.30pm (I had to reach at 7.45am) while everyone can go home. And like cannot claim off... haiz is like that I guess ....@#$%^&* that wat you get when you are deemed to be "unrespectful" to your supervisior which is NOT entirely my fault.
SO here I am sitting in office and blogging and my mind is not thinking anything. Juz keep staring at the computer until time up I guess.
Highlight of the programme should be the photo session with a "special guest" A Littlest Penguin. So cutesy... I will try to upload the pix later...since my camera is total dead.
How I wish that someone else can come and drive me home...kept hinting to him but he dun get it. Either he pretend not to get the hint or he is a total blockhead. Well... or maybe... he's only treating me as a normal fried? that why I say I dun wan put my hopes too high up yet...
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Is it or Is it not?
I really dunno anymore.
Am I or am I not, falling for this someone else, who is always so sweet and so gentle and so patient with me.
He has been picking me up most of the time, even at places so out of the way. He tried to fit his timing to mine and yet he's not so possesive but more to realistic.
Of cos if is along the way and within the timing he dun mind, but if he's busy or wat, he doesn't pick me up or he will ask whether need to come fetch me. But usually I will tell him no need. Dun wan to overtax him plus are are still not a "couple" yet.
Talking abt movie, we keep delaying the movie "Avatar" but now he seriously dun wan to delay any longer, as long as we got suitable timing, he juz go ahead and book and he say, anything as long as I am happy. So sweet rite?
But I can foresee complications. At work, at church...
So I really dunno dunno wat should I do. Continue or stop? Dun wan to lead him so far on also... haiz
Am I or am I not, falling for this someone else, who is always so sweet and so gentle and so patient with me.
He has been picking me up most of the time, even at places so out of the way. He tried to fit his timing to mine and yet he's not so possesive but more to realistic.
Of cos if is along the way and within the timing he dun mind, but if he's busy or wat, he doesn't pick me up or he will ask whether need to come fetch me. But usually I will tell him no need. Dun wan to overtax him plus are are still not a "couple" yet.
Talking abt movie, we keep delaying the movie "Avatar" but now he seriously dun wan to delay any longer, as long as we got suitable timing, he juz go ahead and book and he say, anything as long as I am happy. So sweet rite?
But I can foresee complications. At work, at church...
So I really dunno dunno wat should I do. Continue or stop? Dun wan to lead him so far on also... haiz
Good News
Yupz, I juz wan to annouce as of 14 Jan 2010, I CAN finally ....DRIVE a car!
I know this post is abt 3 days late, cos I was too busy to blog. 14 Jan also Gaius birthday. SO is a double celebration, though I do so much want go out with that someone else. But well...birthday is birthday plus jer and jen is also going, i juz go lor. They picked me up at HQ as I was having a late meeting then we proceed to Geylang for Dim Sum. I got a Durian Birthday cake for Gaius cos I know he loves durians. Is a joyous day for him lah. As for me...I juz try to be happy lor.
Ok, let me recap wat happen during the TP test. Everytihng was ok until vertical parking, tester asked me why do I have to keep checking when is a carpark where there is no other cars, I juz replied him "safety check" Then at paralled parking, I was going to check and before I can check, he scolded me and say paralled should check why I din check. I juz kept quiet. 4points. ok nvm nvm. Out on the road, nothing much happen but points was taken off for insufficient aceleration as well as abrupt change of lanes. Haha. BUT I did not go the full route, so I was like thinking "oh man I am bound to fail again" until when I drove back to the centre, at the front porch, the instructor suddenly ask me to stop. I was like shocked but stepped on the brake. He was like, if I had go on further I would have to retake test again cos I would have strike the curb and is immediate failure! Confusing eh. So when I went to the tester's room, I was praying very hard, and he din not help me much, he juz ask me wat make me think I will fail? I told him abt the safety check and he also told me abt the curb side stopping at the porch HOWEVER, he congrats me when he passed me the paper...I actually PASSED!!! I was so shocked and I cried. I could not believe it. I am officially a driver now! I could not stop thanking him. So yupz, I PASSED with 14 points! But it doesn't matter, I still PASSED. YAY!!!
16 Jan 2010. Caiyun wedding. Met up with EH and went for the wedding. Did something stupid which only me and EH knows. hahaha I dun think I wan say it here also lah. So is juz two of us knows. hahaha. Very happy for her, she finally found someone she can settle down with. Jia You Caiyun jie!!! Was suppse to meet dez to go out, but last minute got dinner with aunt and cousin, so I told him that I can only meet him later which he was very sweet to say ok. Had Korean food at Chinatown. Then later dessert as well as shopped at OG. Dez picked me up at chinatown and we head towards MS. Helped him chose a shirt and pants for the CNY, I think I got good taste and he does look goood with my choices. Haha. And better still, the prices are already so cheap and we get further discounts we dunno why, so all in all, he saved quite a lot. hehe. Thanks to me, his lucky star. Then we head towards Kallang Mac for Hot chocolate. And wat came next was the best words said of the whole day...do I wan to drive myself home? I was like...shocked and of cos I took up the offer and actually DROVE myself home from Kallang stadium to Potong Pasir, car and person safe and sound. Dez was so proud of me. I was so happy. I can DRIVE. YAY. Thank you Dez for trusting me. =) *mauckz**hugz*
That is why I am so happy today. Hot chocolate and driving makes a good combi!!!
I know this post is abt 3 days late, cos I was too busy to blog. 14 Jan also Gaius birthday. SO is a double celebration, though I do so much want go out with that someone else. But well...birthday is birthday plus jer and jen is also going, i juz go lor. They picked me up at HQ as I was having a late meeting then we proceed to Geylang for Dim Sum. I got a Durian Birthday cake for Gaius cos I know he loves durians. Is a joyous day for him lah. As for me...I juz try to be happy lor.
Ok, let me recap wat happen during the TP test. Everytihng was ok until vertical parking, tester asked me why do I have to keep checking when is a carpark where there is no other cars, I juz replied him "safety check" Then at paralled parking, I was going to check and before I can check, he scolded me and say paralled should check why I din check. I juz kept quiet. 4points. ok nvm nvm. Out on the road, nothing much happen but points was taken off for insufficient aceleration as well as abrupt change of lanes. Haha. BUT I did not go the full route, so I was like thinking "oh man I am bound to fail again" until when I drove back to the centre, at the front porch, the instructor suddenly ask me to stop. I was like shocked but stepped on the brake. He was like, if I had go on further I would have to retake test again cos I would have strike the curb and is immediate failure! Confusing eh. So when I went to the tester's room, I was praying very hard, and he din not help me much, he juz ask me wat make me think I will fail? I told him abt the safety check and he also told me abt the curb side stopping at the porch HOWEVER, he congrats me when he passed me the paper...I actually PASSED!!! I was so shocked and I cried. I could not believe it. I am officially a driver now! I could not stop thanking him. So yupz, I PASSED with 14 points! But it doesn't matter, I still PASSED. YAY!!!
16 Jan 2010. Caiyun wedding. Met up with EH and went for the wedding. Did something stupid which only me and EH knows. hahaha I dun think I wan say it here also lah. So is juz two of us knows. hahaha. Very happy for her, she finally found someone she can settle down with. Jia You Caiyun jie!!! Was suppse to meet dez to go out, but last minute got dinner with aunt and cousin, so I told him that I can only meet him later which he was very sweet to say ok. Had Korean food at Chinatown. Then later dessert as well as shopped at OG. Dez picked me up at chinatown and we head towards MS. Helped him chose a shirt and pants for the CNY, I think I got good taste and he does look goood with my choices. Haha. And better still, the prices are already so cheap and we get further discounts we dunno why, so all in all, he saved quite a lot. hehe. Thanks to me, his lucky star. Then we head towards Kallang Mac for Hot chocolate. And wat came next was the best words said of the whole day...do I wan to drive myself home? I was like...shocked and of cos I took up the offer and actually DROVE myself home from Kallang stadium to Potong Pasir, car and person safe and sound. Dez was so proud of me. I was so happy. I can DRIVE. YAY. Thank you Dez for trusting me. =) *mauckz**hugz*
That is why I am so happy today. Hot chocolate and driving makes a good combi!!!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Juz another Day
A day juz for myself
Today is Tuesday, is also my OFF day. FINALLY! From now on, I will stick by WAT I have to do only. No more extra work. I dun wan to do extra anymore. Actually I dun mind doing, I believe in sowing and reaping. BUT ever since *B* came in...things changed. YES and is TIME I move on to greener pasture.
Lunch with sweetie at Plaza Ichiban. Miss her loads. Enjoyed my fellowship with her. We hardly got time to catch up. But is good to catch up no matter is it over lunch or high tea or dinner or supper. I really appreciate this fellowship. Thank You sweetie for having lunch with me.
Went for driving. Two more days to the test date, I am excited yet scare but I know I can do well. I have confidence I have faith.
Recently, I think I am very blessed recently. There is this someone else who always drive me home. I am not expecting much, and I dun wan to expect anything yet. I am still healing. I need to heal before anything happens, if not is not going to be fair to that someone else. I also dunno wat I can do. I do want go out and expand my social circle, know more friends, give myself more choices. I muz admit, I think and I can feel he does have some interest in me but he's such a blockhead. Haven dated before, dunno how to woo a girl, except to drive her home every time... hmmm can consider that action to be kinda sweet, or nvr say anything juz pop by down to make sure he drives her back, calls it a surprise. Still flowers and chocolates would be nice. well prob not at this stage. We haven really "official" yet but we still go out on dates. He is still trying to work hard to build up his career, let that be his priority bah. My point is I do wan my guy to have a stable career so that he can support a family. I dun mind looks dun mind height juz mind his charecter as well as his career. Give time, time will tell whether will anything good come out of this.
I am still hesitating, still thinking...IS he THE one?
Today is Tuesday, is also my OFF day. FINALLY! From now on, I will stick by WAT I have to do only. No more extra work. I dun wan to do extra anymore. Actually I dun mind doing, I believe in sowing and reaping. BUT ever since *B* came in...things changed. YES and is TIME I move on to greener pasture.
Lunch with sweetie at Plaza Ichiban. Miss her loads. Enjoyed my fellowship with her. We hardly got time to catch up. But is good to catch up no matter is it over lunch or high tea or dinner or supper. I really appreciate this fellowship. Thank You sweetie for having lunch with me.
Went for driving. Two more days to the test date, I am excited yet scare but I know I can do well. I have confidence I have faith.
Recently, I think I am very blessed recently. There is this someone else who always drive me home. I am not expecting much, and I dun wan to expect anything yet. I am still healing. I need to heal before anything happens, if not is not going to be fair to that someone else. I also dunno wat I can do. I do want go out and expand my social circle, know more friends, give myself more choices. I muz admit, I think and I can feel he does have some interest in me but he's such a blockhead. Haven dated before, dunno how to woo a girl, except to drive her home every time... hmmm can consider that action to be kinda sweet, or nvr say anything juz pop by down to make sure he drives her back, calls it a surprise. Still flowers and chocolates would be nice. well prob not at this stage. We haven really "official" yet but we still go out on dates. He is still trying to work hard to build up his career, let that be his priority bah. My point is I do wan my guy to have a stable career so that he can support a family. I dun mind looks dun mind height juz mind his charecter as well as his career. Give time, time will tell whether will anything good come out of this.
I am still hesitating, still thinking...IS he THE one?
Friday, January 8, 2010
Blogging to earn money...?
Prob not.
I know there are some very famous and infamous blogs out there. Prob, I juz wan my blog to be a blog? one that i can express myself...wat i am thinking wat am I doing.
Prob, this site WILL never be found out, cos I dun intend to give out the URL to any of my friends. Of cos is my blog, I do want to make it look nice, yet I still can't find any good blog skin, one that dun have errors when i execute. HTML is too complicated that I dunno how to read, so I dunno wat is the error.
I can't come up with any interesting or funny post, I can only express wat I am going thru or pen down wat is happening rite now to me, or to the society.
Currently I am trying to get my life back, yah to go out more often, as well as to find a job that pays me as good and to get the hell out of here. I have put on weight, which is a good sign, yes and I MUST lost those kilos to maintain my figure.
sometimes I find it hard to think of a specific topic, I juz write whatever comes into my mind.
recall the conversation I had with Princess the other night as Shoduko
she's rite and I guess God muz be reaffirming my decision thru her. One thing that strike me the most vivid "childish" exactly. Everyone tells me the same thing, he's juz plain childish. Yes, pple who dunno each other, from different walks of life (church, cg, outside friends, colleagues, instructor, secondary sch friends) all said the SAME THING, exactly the SAME words. And Princess was so glad that I was the one who broke up with him and not the other way round. How could I be such a fool, or prob love is juz blind. Yes, I was blinded but now I see. He's not only childish but insecure as well like wat Princess felt (same thing as wat my other non related group of friends felt) And I trust her cos I know God is with her and is using her to speak to me. I also think he is insecure and has unforgiveness in him. Good luck to you whatever you are, and I'm so glad you dun wan to talk to me or acknowledge me, prob when you see me, you gonna hide your head in the ground juz like an ostrich does(pea brains and big body, exactly the same: he has small head, short and fat and ugly) cos you are ashame, haha yes I shall now call you: Ostrich the Childish Jerk. hahaha. Yah and I shall be on my three inch high heels so that I can look DOWN on you.
Come talk to me only when you've grown up and have matured.
I know there are some very famous and infamous blogs out there. Prob, I juz wan my blog to be a blog? one that i can express myself...wat i am thinking wat am I doing.
Prob, this site WILL never be found out, cos I dun intend to give out the URL to any of my friends. Of cos is my blog, I do want to make it look nice, yet I still can't find any good blog skin, one that dun have errors when i execute. HTML is too complicated that I dunno how to read, so I dunno wat is the error.
I can't come up with any interesting or funny post, I can only express wat I am going thru or pen down wat is happening rite now to me, or to the society.
Currently I am trying to get my life back, yah to go out more often, as well as to find a job that pays me as good and to get the hell out of here. I have put on weight, which is a good sign, yes and I MUST lost those kilos to maintain my figure.
sometimes I find it hard to think of a specific topic, I juz write whatever comes into my mind.
recall the conversation I had with Princess the other night as Shoduko
she's rite and I guess God muz be reaffirming my decision thru her. One thing that strike me the most vivid "childish" exactly. Everyone tells me the same thing, he's juz plain childish. Yes, pple who dunno each other, from different walks of life (church, cg, outside friends, colleagues, instructor, secondary sch friends) all said the SAME THING, exactly the SAME words. And Princess was so glad that I was the one who broke up with him and not the other way round. How could I be such a fool, or prob love is juz blind. Yes, I was blinded but now I see. He's not only childish but insecure as well like wat Princess felt (same thing as wat my other non related group of friends felt) And I trust her cos I know God is with her and is using her to speak to me. I also think he is insecure and has unforgiveness in him. Good luck to you whatever you are, and I'm so glad you dun wan to talk to me or acknowledge me, prob when you see me, you gonna hide your head in the ground juz like an ostrich does(pea brains and big body, exactly the same: he has small head, short and fat and ugly) cos you are ashame, haha yes I shall now call you: Ostrich the Childish Jerk. hahaha. Yah and I shall be on my three inch high heels so that I can look DOWN on you.
Come talk to me only when you've grown up and have matured.
Did I do the right thing?
I have been applying for jobs and internal transfer.
Today the HR recruitment came out there is an opening for CS CDC (projects) for PAL 6. And...I applied for it. I emailed directly to HR and cc to my director, conveniently leaving s short note for her to tell her I wish to transfer out anda sk her to consider my request. And...guess wat? She actually replied me and say she support me and even cc to my scm and gcm. Stunned! but guess I also dieded lah. Now scm and gcm know, I lagi might not be able to get transfer out or maybe they more than happy to chase me out. Yah and my scm left the office without anyone knowing, guess she is pissed off with the email, if she had read it...oh well. Is my choice since she's the one who is keeping me on such low profile, dun allow me to do big projects...thus noone knows of my existance. With such a boss, how do I going to climb up the corporate ladder?
Anyway am hoping that I may get this new posting and get out of hell here!
I used to love here, love the people and love the job. But ever since the *Beep* came in, she messed up everything. She ruin my life, and she get boss at her side cos she can cry...wat the *Fish* Now, the only thing I can do now is to lie low and keep my mouth shut. Do only wat I HAVE to do and dun bother about anything else. YES,I am not going to be so kind-hearted and helpful anymore. I only need to do wat I need to do. Heck the rest...
Applied so many jobs, hopefully I may be able to get one soon. I dunno how much longer can I hold back before I errupt again...
Today the HR recruitment came out there is an opening for CS CDC (projects) for PAL 6. And...I applied for it. I emailed directly to HR and cc to my director, conveniently leaving s short note for her to tell her I wish to transfer out anda sk her to consider my request. And...guess wat? She actually replied me and say she support me and even cc to my scm and gcm. Stunned! but guess I also dieded lah. Now scm and gcm know, I lagi might not be able to get transfer out or maybe they more than happy to chase me out. Yah and my scm left the office without anyone knowing, guess she is pissed off with the email, if she had read it...oh well. Is my choice since she's the one who is keeping me on such low profile, dun allow me to do big projects...thus noone knows of my existance. With such a boss, how do I going to climb up the corporate ladder?
Anyway am hoping that I may get this new posting and get out of hell here!
I used to love here, love the people and love the job. But ever since the *Beep* came in, she messed up everything. She ruin my life, and she get boss at her side cos she can cry...wat the *Fish* Now, the only thing I can do now is to lie low and keep my mouth shut. Do only wat I HAVE to do and dun bother about anything else. YES,I am not going to be so kind-hearted and helpful anymore. I only need to do wat I need to do. Heck the rest...
Applied so many jobs, hopefully I may be able to get one soon. I dunno how much longer can I hold back before I errupt again...
Thursday, January 7, 2010
New Resolution coming to pass
One resolution is to go out and socialise more.
Yupz, I've been out these 2 days, Tue had dinner with my sec sch "gan di-di" at a coffee shop in Serangoon plus cheesecake and hot chocolate later one and Wed had dinner with Princess at Shodoku. Company her till her bee came and pick her up. Is good to be able to fellowship, and is nice catching up with her.
Planning to go Melburn during first week of March and already booked air tickets to bangkok for the last week of March. Com'on this is the only free time I have to travel. Wat to do?
Hopefully I can be able to visit as many countries as possible for this year round.
Thu on "A" shift, meaning I go office at 8.30am and leave at 1pm and then later dinner and movie with dez. At least got car. Fri is nite duty hopefully can go supper with KK also.
Oh one thing I hate abt guys is that when they wan ask you out, they give the excus you are busy, but when you finally say yes to go out, they last minute got things corpped up, somehow I am not trusting this guy anymore even though he is a SL. Wat a jerk.
I have signed up for French lessons!!! Yay!!!
Yupz, I've been out these 2 days, Tue had dinner with my sec sch "gan di-di" at a coffee shop in Serangoon plus cheesecake and hot chocolate later one and Wed had dinner with Princess at Shodoku. Company her till her bee came and pick her up. Is good to be able to fellowship, and is nice catching up with her.
Planning to go Melburn during first week of March and already booked air tickets to bangkok for the last week of March. Com'on this is the only free time I have to travel. Wat to do?
Hopefully I can be able to visit as many countries as possible for this year round.
Thu on "A" shift, meaning I go office at 8.30am and leave at 1pm and then later dinner and movie with dez. At least got car. Fri is nite duty hopefully can go supper with KK also.
Oh one thing I hate abt guys is that when they wan ask you out, they give the excus you are busy, but when you finally say yes to go out, they last minute got things corpped up, somehow I am not trusting this guy anymore even though he is a SL. Wat a jerk.
I have signed up for French lessons!!! Yay!!!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
First driving lesson for 2010
Yupz I am still in one piece.
haha manage to drive myself form Kovan to ubi and from ubi back to Kovan and nothing happen. Not bad not bad I still can remember most of the things in the courses as well as on the road, except slope wasn't so well done. Kinda forgot to release the clutch and such... but overall, is still ok. I juz need practise. 4 more lessons until the actual day on 14Jan. Yah except I also forgot to look behind for cars while reversing for vertical parking, other than that my parallel parking was quite nicely done as well as the S-course and Crank course (the one that killed me during tset)
I think I am ready to go for the test again.
Pray for me ya?
haha manage to drive myself form Kovan to ubi and from ubi back to Kovan and nothing happen. Not bad not bad I still can remember most of the things in the courses as well as on the road, except slope wasn't so well done. Kinda forgot to release the clutch and such... but overall, is still ok. I juz need practise. 4 more lessons until the actual day on 14Jan. Yah except I also forgot to look behind for cars while reversing for vertical parking, other than that my parallel parking was quite nicely done as well as the S-course and Crank course (the one that killed me during tset)
I think I am ready to go for the test again.
Pray for me ya?
Monday, January 4, 2010
New Resolution
YES! I shall go out as often as I can.
Meet up with as many friends as I can.
I need to get my life back. I need to expand my social circle.
Is so sad that on tuesdays my off day, most of my friends can't meet up. Dunno why is everyone so busy on Tuesday ...haiz
I send out so many sms asking to meet up for dinner, many reply that they can't make it, or is that I am that unpopular? Sighz...
At times like this, I really wish I got someone with me, to company me.
Meet up with as many friends as I can.
I need to get my life back. I need to expand my social circle.
Is so sad that on tuesdays my off day, most of my friends can't meet up. Dunno why is everyone so busy on Tuesday ...haiz
I send out so many sms asking to meet up for dinner, many reply that they can't make it, or is that I am that unpopular? Sighz...
At times like this, I really wish I got someone with me, to company me.
Driving
Yay tmr going for driving again.
I took a one month break from driving after failing my first test.
Next test on the 14Jan. And I know I know I'm going to pass...I can feel it in my bones!
Can't wait to start driving, hopefully I can still remember how to feel the biting point...yupz I drive a manual...heehee. I miss my car...215
pple asking why am I taking manual when now is all auto car? but I feel is better to drive a manual so that next time can drive lorry or pick up mah, then go overseas if no auto car I can still drive. muahahaha
Driving is so fun.
I took a one month break from driving after failing my first test.
Next test on the 14Jan. And I know I know I'm going to pass...I can feel it in my bones!
Can't wait to start driving, hopefully I can still remember how to feel the biting point...yupz I drive a manual...heehee. I miss my car...215
pple asking why am I taking manual when now is all auto car? but I feel is better to drive a manual so that next time can drive lorry or pick up mah, then go overseas if no auto car I can still drive. muahahaha
Driving is so fun.
On the 4th Day of 2010...
Still the same.
Friends told me if I wan my 2010 to be happy to be good, I should have start off on a positive and happy note, which I tried, which is pretty hard, consider wat I've been thru and wat I'm feeling right now.
Dun be mistaken, I have a bunch of lovely friends and a wonderful family. But I juz felt lacking of something...yah... my partner? I know is nothing wrong being single, but somehow I still feel something is missing in my life or that someone took away a part of me and I felt a void. A sense of sadness and lonliness. I am trying hard to build back my life. To move on strongly, and I have succeed, not hundred percent but is getting somewhere...considering I've put on a bit of weight. Pple say if you are happy, you will put on weight (that why all married couples ballooned up after their wedding). I've learnt to let go part of it, but I am still holding on to some of it. I guess I will eventually let go slowly, bit by bit as I go out more often to socialise and get to know new pple. Yes and I think i am ready to go on dates again. Well juz dinner and movie, for some company and to know them better...no is not getting into relationship, is juz fellowship and building friendship. Last one was quite a rush rush, a vicious cycle, I should slow down, get to know each other better first, enjoy my life, before diving straight into it. And I shouldn't feel jealous or sad if I know of pple getting attached or married. I know my time will come, but is juz not now.
Friends told me if I wan my 2010 to be happy to be good, I should have start off on a positive and happy note, which I tried, which is pretty hard, consider wat I've been thru and wat I'm feeling right now.
Dun be mistaken, I have a bunch of lovely friends and a wonderful family. But I juz felt lacking of something...yah... my partner? I know is nothing wrong being single, but somehow I still feel something is missing in my life or that someone took away a part of me and I felt a void. A sense of sadness and lonliness. I am trying hard to build back my life. To move on strongly, and I have succeed, not hundred percent but is getting somewhere...considering I've put on a bit of weight. Pple say if you are happy, you will put on weight (that why all married couples ballooned up after their wedding). I've learnt to let go part of it, but I am still holding on to some of it. I guess I will eventually let go slowly, bit by bit as I go out more often to socialise and get to know new pple. Yes and I think i am ready to go on dates again. Well juz dinner and movie, for some company and to know them better...no is not getting into relationship, is juz fellowship and building friendship. Last one was quite a rush rush, a vicious cycle, I should slow down, get to know each other better first, enjoy my life, before diving straight into it. And I shouldn't feel jealous or sad if I know of pple getting attached or married. I know my time will come, but is juz not now.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Weddings
Sighz, I know I know.
Weddings should be joyous occassions. Wedding should be fun.
But why am I feeling so sad at weddings? Prob cos I really wan to find mr Right and settle down too...but with heartbreaks after heartbreaks, I am having doubts.
Dear God, I know You know the desires of my heart, I know You know how much I have sacrfice to serve You. You know what I have been thru in 2009. You have seen my sadness, hear my cries, collected my tears...but why God why hasn't wat I wanted come to pass? Is it because is not in Your will? I obey Lord, I hear you Lord, but is juz a reconciliation that I am asking. Why is it so hard? I have tried to shown Your love to the other party, to shown Your forgiveness and Your grace and Your mercy, but why, but why isn't there any response? Use me Lord, use me to do a work in that person's life. Use me to be Your light to show him Your will for His life. I keep seeing signs, signs of him but yet Lord why isn't there a response? Even juz a short sms of Happy New Year, there isn't any reply back? All I ask Lord, is to have this friend back. Wat is it that You want me to learn? Wat is it that you want to mould my charecter? Wat is that You wan me to grow? God, pls tell me the answer. All I want is a proper closure, God pls hear this plea from my Heart.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
Coming up, I have Caiyun's Wedding on the 16Jan and Kelvin's Wedding on the 17Jan. Back to Back...will there be more coming up? When will it be my turn?
Weddings should be joyous occassions. Wedding should be fun.
But why am I feeling so sad at weddings? Prob cos I really wan to find mr Right and settle down too...but with heartbreaks after heartbreaks, I am having doubts.
Dear God, I know You know the desires of my heart, I know You know how much I have sacrfice to serve You. You know what I have been thru in 2009. You have seen my sadness, hear my cries, collected my tears...but why God why hasn't wat I wanted come to pass? Is it because is not in Your will? I obey Lord, I hear you Lord, but is juz a reconciliation that I am asking. Why is it so hard? I have tried to shown Your love to the other party, to shown Your forgiveness and Your grace and Your mercy, but why, but why isn't there any response? Use me Lord, use me to do a work in that person's life. Use me to be Your light to show him Your will for His life. I keep seeing signs, signs of him but yet Lord why isn't there a response? Even juz a short sms of Happy New Year, there isn't any reply back? All I ask Lord, is to have this friend back. Wat is it that You want me to learn? Wat is it that you want to mould my charecter? Wat is that You wan me to grow? God, pls tell me the answer. All I want is a proper closure, God pls hear this plea from my Heart.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
Coming up, I have Caiyun's Wedding on the 16Jan and Kelvin's Wedding on the 17Jan. Back to Back...will there be more coming up? When will it be my turn?
Travel and New Skills
Hoping to be able to travel out of Singapore more often this year. To broaden my horizon, to gain knowledge and to make new friends. Short trips, Long trips I dun mind juz as long as I can get out of here. Places in mind:
Macau
Hong Kong
Shanghai
Batam
Kukup
KL
Australia
Japan
Taiwan
Dubai
Bangkok
Guangzhou
Beijing
Xi'an
so if anyone want to go anywhere in the above list, let me know, we can make arrangement. Or some other places not listed, I also dun mind going.
I know dez wan go Aussie or Kl, Jes wan go Aussie, Guangzhou, Bangkok, Ryz wan go Aussie, Ay wan go taiwan or kukup, batam, bintan, Ah Huat wan go Bangkok or Hong Kong, Long-ge wan go Hong Kong and Xi'an, Aunt wan go Beijing and Guangzhou.
I think I will really make a trip down to KL to visit my cousin and her son. Haven been to see them since she gave birth? I din even attend the one-month dinner...felt so guilty. I MUST I MUST go KL soooooonnnn.....any kakis???
How abt learning new skills or hobbies? I took driving in 2009 and pretty soon, I am going to get my liscense. I know I will I believe I will and I claim it in Jesus' name. What else should I learn? Few ides in mind:
Diving
Golf
Baking Skills
Ballroom Dancing
Motor Boat Driving
Canoeing 1* and 2*
Masters Degree
Photography
Photoshop
French Language
Spanish Language
Korean Language
Japanese Language
Thai Language
So many things, so little time. Yes I shall do it while I am still single and still young. So guys give me an idea wat should I learn?
I want live my life to the fullest, life is too precious and too short to be wasted.
Macau
Hong Kong
Shanghai
Batam
Kukup
KL
Australia
Japan
Taiwan
Dubai
Bangkok
Guangzhou
Beijing
Xi'an
so if anyone want to go anywhere in the above list, let me know, we can make arrangement. Or some other places not listed, I also dun mind going.
I know dez wan go Aussie or Kl, Jes wan go Aussie, Guangzhou, Bangkok, Ryz wan go Aussie, Ay wan go taiwan or kukup, batam, bintan, Ah Huat wan go Bangkok or Hong Kong, Long-ge wan go Hong Kong and Xi'an, Aunt wan go Beijing and Guangzhou.
I think I will really make a trip down to KL to visit my cousin and her son. Haven been to see them since she gave birth? I din even attend the one-month dinner...felt so guilty. I MUST I MUST go KL soooooonnnn.....any kakis???
How abt learning new skills or hobbies? I took driving in 2009 and pretty soon, I am going to get my liscense. I know I will I believe I will and I claim it in Jesus' name. What else should I learn? Few ides in mind:
Diving
Golf
Baking Skills
Ballroom Dancing
Motor Boat Driving
Canoeing 1* and 2*
Masters Degree
Photography
Photoshop
French Language
Spanish Language
Korean Language
Japanese Language
Thai Language
So many things, so little time. Yes I shall do it while I am still single and still young. So guys give me an idea wat should I learn?
I want live my life to the fullest, life is too precious and too short to be wasted.
Third Day of 2010
Still nothing much. Bored in office. Nothin to do. or Dun feel like doing anything.
not feeling so good I guess...this is wat you get for sleeping at 4am and waking at 7am this morning. Yupz was out with a bunch of lovely friends to KTV AFTER the NE YEC Getogether. Well the NE is all represented. Jes from Tampiness, Long-ge and Kenny (and maybe Ryz since he WAS from PLK a few years back) from Aljunied, me and dez from Pasir Ris-Punggol. Had roaring great fun and loads of laughters. Is good to laugh you know. Made you forgot your tiredness and sadness.
Well, grateful for them. Knowing wat a bad 2009 I had, but becos of them, I manage to pull thru to bring myself back to society again, all because of one boat trip to Kusu Island (or and the Raining part where the 3 of us are taking the boat...hmmm). Not to forgot another very impt person in my life, my gan-di di, KK, he was the one who patiently listen to me and encourage and supported me when I was at my lowest point. (I still remember the outing we had at the top of Central...)
Had my first duty of the year, Communion. Wasn't very good to wat I feel. Guess becos I wasn't prepared and I was very tired. But overall everything went ok (except the Communion din get to artist rm which was so strange)
Now stuck in office. No mood to do anything, dun feel like anything. Juz feel like sleeping.
SMARTER goals, yah I gotta start planning again:
1) finish the bible within the year
2) pass my driving (no rain pls)
3) lost weight (another 3kg would be great)
4) widen my social circle, get to know more friends (and hopefully find my Mr Right, yupz I wun say No to dates anymore)
5) Control my temper esp in office (talk less and complain less - God will judge and pple will decide).
6) get a new job, or transfer out, or get promoted. (I will opt for new job though)
7) train up more leaders (I have so many potential ldrs in my team, I want to train them up)
8) more patience with my family (yes I can be quite a brat at home)
9) spend more time with my grandparents
10) be healthy and happy (forgive and forget...)
11) Learn a new Skill? (Diving or Golfing?)
12) Travel Overseas more often (go on exchange programme)
13) Attend more BIG functions by BIG companies (VIP function or invited function would be nice)
14) Clear my debts (whatever I owe the banks) and cut away credit cards spending
15) Reconciliation with a ...friend
that's all the list for now.
Do I find them specific? think so... measurable? ya... Action plan? gotta start thinking... realistic? ya... time frame? ya.... expectation management? within expectation ... revelation? gotta start praying ....
not feeling so good I guess...this is wat you get for sleeping at 4am and waking at 7am this morning. Yupz was out with a bunch of lovely friends to KTV AFTER the NE YEC Getogether. Well the NE is all represented. Jes from Tampiness, Long-ge and Kenny (and maybe Ryz since he WAS from PLK a few years back) from Aljunied, me and dez from Pasir Ris-Punggol. Had roaring great fun and loads of laughters. Is good to laugh you know. Made you forgot your tiredness and sadness.
Well, grateful for them. Knowing wat a bad 2009 I had, but becos of them, I manage to pull thru to bring myself back to society again, all because of one boat trip to Kusu Island (or and the Raining part where the 3 of us are taking the boat...hmmm). Not to forgot another very impt person in my life, my gan-di di, KK, he was the one who patiently listen to me and encourage and supported me when I was at my lowest point. (I still remember the outing we had at the top of Central...)
Had my first duty of the year, Communion. Wasn't very good to wat I feel. Guess becos I wasn't prepared and I was very tired. But overall everything went ok (except the Communion din get to artist rm which was so strange)
Now stuck in office. No mood to do anything, dun feel like anything. Juz feel like sleeping.
SMARTER goals, yah I gotta start planning again:
1) finish the bible within the year
2) pass my driving (no rain pls)
3) lost weight (another 3kg would be great)
4) widen my social circle, get to know more friends (and hopefully find my Mr Right, yupz I wun say No to dates anymore)
5) Control my temper esp in office (talk less and complain less - God will judge and pple will decide).
6) get a new job, or transfer out, or get promoted. (I will opt for new job though)
7) train up more leaders (I have so many potential ldrs in my team, I want to train them up)
8) more patience with my family (yes I can be quite a brat at home)
9) spend more time with my grandparents
10) be healthy and happy (forgive and forget...)
11) Learn a new Skill? (Diving or Golfing?)
12) Travel Overseas more often (go on exchange programme)
13) Attend more BIG functions by BIG companies (VIP function or invited function would be nice)
14) Clear my debts (whatever I owe the banks) and cut away credit cards spending
15) Reconciliation with a ...friend
that's all the list for now.
Do I find them specific? think so... measurable? ya... Action plan? gotta start thinking... realistic? ya... time frame? ya.... expectation management? within expectation ... revelation? gotta start praying ....
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Blog Skin
Second Day of the New Year...
still lazing around... trying to figure how to change my blog skin.
YEC NE Get-together later at 3pm. I think is gonna be fun. Get to see pple from the other YECs. Hopefully can make some new friends...of cos...find my Mr Right? haha.
Yah that is one of my resolution for this 2010. Really want find someone to settle down. Is my desire, but I know, it takes time to really find the right one. I dun wan anymore heartbreaks for 2010. Thus I muz find carefully, seeking for God's wisdom and guidenace. I know..he's out there somewhere, waiting too. of cos to get my driving lesson. Second test on 14Jan2010. Pray for me ya? Good weather and kind tester...
Oh yes...I want to find a blog skin... any good site?
NO more bitching abt my work life...cos I know what I should do. Keep quiet is my virtue now. Knowing God will give me the justice and righteousness that I deserve.
still lazing around... trying to figure how to change my blog skin.
YEC NE Get-together later at 3pm. I think is gonna be fun. Get to see pple from the other YECs. Hopefully can make some new friends...of cos...find my Mr Right? haha.
Yah that is one of my resolution for this 2010. Really want find someone to settle down. Is my desire, but I know, it takes time to really find the right one. I dun wan anymore heartbreaks for 2010. Thus I muz find carefully, seeking for God's wisdom and guidenace. I know..he's out there somewhere, waiting too. of cos to get my driving lesson. Second test on 14Jan2010. Pray for me ya? Good weather and kind tester...
Oh yes...I want to find a blog skin... any good site?
NO more bitching abt my work life...cos I know what I should do. Keep quiet is my virtue now. Knowing God will give me the justice and righteousness that I deserve.
Friday, January 1, 2010
First Post of theYear
Goodbye 2009 and helooo 2010, new year, new blog.
yes I've decided to abandon my other blog at multiply...too many bad and sad memories over there, thus I probably not going to blog there anymore...juz occassionally.
I will be using this from now, but unfortunately dun really like the user name...all those i wanted got taken...oh well... but is ok.
With my nick, prob noone gonna guess is me.
So tired after division countdown, reach home only close to 3.30am today. Was working from 12pm on eve...Had supper with a friend, the first person to spend 2010 with me or should say send off 2009 and welcome 2010 with me? yah lah, we were at the same countdown event mah.
Slept a while, got phonecallSSS to go over grandma's place for satay steamboat lunch...at 1030am??? com'on lunch is at 12pm for me...gotta bit irritated lah...but still got to wake up and wash up...slack a while....and head over grandma's place and reach at ....tadaaaa....12pm? haha see my timing juzt nice. Finish steamboat, decided to head for home since my eyes are closing. Sis got a crazy idea to get some pampering and wanted to do manicure, so I juzt follow and did pedicure. Like my matted purple toes for now...ha. Went home and sleep... and woke up at....9pm??? Can you believe it? This is how tired I was.
Yes I had no proper rest since Chirstmas eve.
Enough for this first post of the year....more to come...
Once again, Happy New Year eveyone!!!
yes I've decided to abandon my other blog at multiply...too many bad and sad memories over there, thus I probably not going to blog there anymore...juz occassionally.
I will be using this from now, but unfortunately dun really like the user name...all those i wanted got taken...oh well... but is ok.
With my nick, prob noone gonna guess is me.
So tired after division countdown, reach home only close to 3.30am today. Was working from 12pm on eve...Had supper with a friend, the first person to spend 2010 with me or should say send off 2009 and welcome 2010 with me? yah lah, we were at the same countdown event mah.
Slept a while, got phonecallSSS to go over grandma's place for satay steamboat lunch...at 1030am??? com'on lunch is at 12pm for me...gotta bit irritated lah...but still got to wake up and wash up...slack a while....and head over grandma's place and reach at ....tadaaaa....12pm? haha see my timing juzt nice. Finish steamboat, decided to head for home since my eyes are closing. Sis got a crazy idea to get some pampering and wanted to do manicure, so I juzt follow and did pedicure. Like my matted purple toes for now...ha. Went home and sleep... and woke up at....9pm??? Can you believe it? This is how tired I was.
Yes I had no proper rest since Chirstmas eve.
Enough for this first post of the year....more to come...
Once again, Happy New Year eveyone!!!
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